


you are my one and only wish to dream

by achlyss



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Greywaren Kim Sehyoon, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 04:49:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17460920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achlyss/pseuds/achlyss
Summary: A year after Kim Sehyoon had lost his lover in a car accident, the Greywaren found enough courage to dream him back to life.





	you are my one and only wish to dream

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there.  
> I don't know what this is, but I do hope you will enjoy reading it.  
> Few details before you get started on the story (Which kind of contains spoilers of The Raven Cycle):  
> 1\. Greywaren is someone who is capable of bringing items (including people) out of their dreams;  
> 2\. Cabeswater is a magical forest Ronan Lynch (one of the few Greywaren know to the world) dreamt, which was also a source of all of his dream things.  
> If you would like to read more of Greywaren and of Cabeswater and of Ronan Lynch himself I absolutely recommend The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater (amazing series, trust me, you will love it).  
> I didn't get to fix the mistakes, so I apologize for them in advance.  
> Thank you so much for reading.  
> Take care.

 

*******

 

Kim Sehyoon violently jerked back to life from his peaceless sleep bathed in sweat, heart mad inside his chest and body shivering from the sickening sensation that still lingered in his freezing bones from the nightmare that had been haunting him for a year with no break.

He peeled the covers off of his body and forced his numb limbs to start moving again. The clock on his bedside table read 4:23 in the morning.

_It had started on the same night a year ago._

He got up, staggering slightly as he blindly searched for his slippers in the darkness of his suddenly suffocating bedroom and steadied his footing on the ground.

_A year._

He felt memories burn and ache painfully inside him and could taste bitterness they left behind on his tongue.

It had been a year he had brought his own life to crumbles and taken his lover’s with his mistake.

Sehyoon wasn't sure how he had survived a year without him.

Without Yuchan and with so much guilt and regret weighting down on his chest and wanting to crush him, full of force and desire to turn his shivering body to crumbles and take his life away in the same painful way he had taken his own lover’s. Sehyoon wished it would. He wished it could be done with him already and would free him from his endless suffering.

His soul burned in agony and grief every day. There was no getting better or getting over it. It meant leaving his lover behind. Sehyoon would never leave Yuchan behind. The younger lived inside him and Sehyoon would keep him alive as long as he lived.

_A year had gone._

Sehyoon had gone a year without Yuchan, but he still missed him. He missed him so much he kept falling down and breaking every day, in hopes of one day he would find himself back in Yuchan’s arms, the younger male picking his shattered heart piece by piece as he steadied him on the ground, reassured him he would be there to catch him every time he would fall.

A year had gone and Sehyoon still hadn’t found Yuchan catching him in his awaiting arms as he shattered to pieces again and again, endlessly, because Yuchan was gone.

Yuchan was gone, but Sehyoon didn't want to admit it, afraid that admitting it aloud could let time take memories of Yuchan away from him.

A year had gone, in pain, in denial, in agony, and Sehyoon had turned himself into a cathedral.

A cathedral where only memories and ghosts sat and weeped, half destroyed, as he continued to waste and exhaust his heart in grief, in regret, in vain attempts of finding himself in Yuchan’s arms as he would startle from sleep.

He found himself clutching a cool glass of water in his fingers, his body had somehow wandered inside the kitchen on its own, and lowered himself on the cold floor, shivering back pressed against the kitchen counter, growing weak and strengthless and exhausted.

_Chan,_

_Are you here?_

_Can you hear me?_

He wondered inside his head as he always did. He had been wondering for a year if Yuchan heard any of his apologizes and confessions and cries of his own name Sehyoon uttered faintly, gently, carefully in silence, in his now empty, lonely, cold, colorless apartment as he hoped for the door to throw open and reveal Yuchan on the doorway, smiling, calling his name as he announced his arrival back home, life still pulsing inside his delicate veins.

_Yuchan._

_Yuchan._

_Yuchan._

_I am sorry._

_I am so sorry, love._

If Sehyoon hadn't fallen asleep during their ride back home from the flower festival Yuchan had so dearly wanted to go on that back then lovely mid-summer night, his younger lover, his beautiful, full of bright colors that could very easily outshine the summer sun and full of life lover would be alive.

Yuchan would still be with him, beside him, and Sehyoon would no longer have to spend each night weeping on the cold floor as the memories haunted him both in his state of wakefulness and in his dreams.

_Yuchan. Yuchan. Yuchan._

_I miss you._

_I miss you, Channie._

Sehyoon missed him. He missed him so much he heard him everywhere, in every corner of their apartment. He would wake and hear Yuchan laughing in the living room, singing inside Sehyoon's small studio, whispering _I love you_ to him as they danced inside the kitchen, soothing Sehyoon with small _I am here_ and _it's fine_ whenever he startled from another nightmare, clutching something unearthly in between his fingers he had accidently, in hurry and panic, had taken from his dreams.

Sehyoon gathered enough courage to turn his head to the living room, doors ajar as the faint yellow light spilled inside the kitchen and brought color to the complete darkness reigning inside the apartment.

The flowers he had dreamt up for Yuchan on that night as they laid in the middle of the flower fields under the starry sky, Yuchan's head gently lain against Sehyoon’s chest as he drifted in and out of consciousness. He had ended up bringing back a fistful of magical, yellow, glowing, glittering, sun-shaped flowers to his lover from his dreamland of magical mysteries.

Sehyoon had kept them. No matter how painful it was to look at them each day and be reminded of that night. He couldn't throw them away. He couldn’t give them away. He had put bits of his soul and of his love for Yuchan inside them. He had put his lingering images of Yuchan's smile inside them and he felt like getting rid of them would take his memories of Yuchan's dear smile away.

And Sehyoon couldn't risk it. He had lost enough already. He had lost Yuchan already. He couldn't bear losing more of the younger male he had left of his memories.

_Yuchan,_

_Would it be selfish if I were to bring you back?_

_Would you still love me if I were to bring you back?_

_Would you still be the same boy I had fallen in love with if I were to bring you back?_

_Would we still recognize each other as we had promised on that night if I were to bring you back to life?_

_Yuchan,_

_Do you want to come back?_

Sehyoon had not even once stopped thinking about dreaming Yuchan back to life in the past year.

He would hear Yuchan's faint laughter as he wandered through the empty apartment and he would want to bring him back and hear his laughter close to his chest, easy and hearty, and see his face become resembling of the sun as bright smile took over the younger's face.

He would catch a glimpse of Yuchan moving through the lonely rooms of their apartment as Sehyoon drifted in between his dreams and reality and would want to bring him back to life and feel him close to his chest and wrap him in his arms and beg him to not leave him ever again, tell him how sorry he was and how he loved him more than anything.

He would go through Yuchan's belongings, through his pictures and through his books and notes, through his drawings and clothing and their old messages and want to bring him back and continue making the same memories with him all over again, and again and again and again and make sure death wouldn't steal Yuchan away.

He would dream of him and of his smiles and of his laughter and of his gentle touches and warm gazes and would want to bring him back to life.

He would have a nightmare and would want to bring him back to life and feel Yuchan's comforting presence beside him, feel Yuchan's heart beat against his as they slept wrapped in each other's embraces, as Yuchan soothed him to not fear, reassured him that he was there with him.

No matter what he did, where he went, what he thought of, how he tried to push his memories, his guilt, his regrets, his love away, it always managed to crawl back to him and engulfed him in their heavy, agonizing, but familiar arms.

_Yuchan,_

_Do you want to come back to me?_

Sehyoon felt the familiar sensation run through him as his body grew numb. He heard a distant sound of glass clattering against the marble floor of his apartment, but before he could resist against the sudden drowsiness growing stronger inside him, he was drifting away from the reality and deep, deep inside his unconsciousness where the most conscious part of Kim Sehyoon's being waited.

_Yuchan._

He silently wished for the name and as though the high trees of Cabeswater had heard of desperate wishes of its maker, of its Greywaren, Yuchan appeared in between the trees, growing closer and closer to where Sehyoon stood and waited, in the middle of a clearing, stars shining down on them and flowers surrounding them all around, seeming so eerily similar to the night Sehyoon had lost him.

_Yuchan._

"Sehyoon." Yuchan said his name, soft and delicate as though he had heard Sehyoon calling his name silently, and his smile, the smile that had captivated Sehyoon since the moment they had first met, took over the younger's face and Sehyoon was running to him and pulling him in his arms, clutching onto him for his life as he cradled Yuchan close to his chest.

"Channie." He whispered, trembling, and realized he was crying.

"Why are you crying, Yoonie?" Yuchan asked as he wrapped his arms around Sehyoon securely, as though he was trying to shelter the elder from the creatures that very often chased him out and away from the magical forest he had built for his dreams. "A bad dream again? It's okay. I'm here, love. It's okay." Yuchan comforted him as though he didn't know of what had happened to the real Yuchan, the one out of Sehyoon's head and Sehyoon couldn't bring himself to tell the younger. He wanted to stay still and enjoy the feeling of Yuchan’s warm body against his.

Sehyoon felt like nothing had changed and he and Yuchan were still on the flower festival they had been on that night and Sehyoon wondered if Cabeswater had finally heard his endless, desperate wishing and was giving him a chance to redeem the fatal mistake he had made.

"Look how beautiful flowers here are, Yoonie." Yuchan told him as he slowly pulled away from Sehyoon's chest. Sehyoon raised his head to look around the field one more time and found himself surrounded by the same flowers he had dreamt up for Yuchan on that night. "Did you dream them for me?" Yuchan turned to look up at him, able to instantly recognize their magic, as loving smile stretched across his lips, happy, struck, pleased and took Sehyoon's hand in his, laced them together and held onto it as though he was never going to let go of it. Sehyoon hoped, wished, wanted to believe that that was what the younger had intended. Sehyoon had let go of him once, he didn't want to let go of him once again.

"I did. Though, they are nothing compared to you." Sehyoon told him and Yuchan laughed before leaning in and pressing his lips against Sehyoon's, sweet and gentle and real.

Yuchan pulled away and tugged Sehyoon forward by his wrist and led him through the endless rows of magical flowers surrounding them. Cabeswater was giving him time, time to find out what he truly wanted to do now that he had Yuchan beside him, how to redeem his mistake and to find a way to take Yuchan back with him.

The same night was repeating itself all over again as they wandered through the flowers and Sehyoon hoped he was strong enough to produce a different outcome out of it.

Cabeswater was giving him a chance, while asking if it was truly what Sehyoon wanted.

_What did Sehyoon want?_

_Yuchan._

_He wanted Yuchan, back, safe, alive and able to recognize his love and him._

_What do you want my Greywaren?  -_ Sehyoon heard Cabeswater whisper inside his head.

_What do you want my Greywaren?_

_What is it that you desire the most in life?_

_Yuchan._

_Yuchan._

_Yuchan._

Sehyoon wished and wished and wished for the same name silently, endlessly,  _Yuchan, Yuchan, Yichan,_ and hoped Cabeswater would hear him and understand him as it always had, would grant its maker his only wish.

_Yuchan._

Yuchan turned and Sehyoon realized the younger was leading him to where Sehyoon had found a peaceful, safe, lovely place to bury him and give his bones a second home, away from Sehyoon's arms and close to Sehyoon’s heart and soul.

_No._

_No._

_Please._

"Channie." He stopped and tugged onto the younger's hand. Yuchan turned to look at him. "I love you." Sehyoon choked out and tears were finding their way on his cheeks once again.

Yuchan smiled and let go of Sehyoon's hand, cupped the elder's face in between his warm fingers and wiped his tears away.

"I love you too, Sehyoon." Yuchan reassured, before kissing him, as though he was trying to show Sehyoon that he had meant it.

"Don't leave me please." Sehyoon whispered against Yuchan's lips and felt his body suddenly grow numb and faint under the younger's fingertips.

_No._

_No._

_Please._

_Don't leave me please._

He tried to hold onto the younger, but Yuchan kept slipping out and away of his grasp no matter how desperately Sehyoon’s weak fingers tried to not let go of him.

_Yuchan._

_Yuchan._

_Yuchan._

_Come back to me please._

Sehyoon woke up on the cold kitchen floor, curled into himself, body shuddering as he screamed Yuchan's name and begged the younger to not leave him until his voice gave out and faded into the first rays of sunlight leaking through the curtains and spilling color inside the dark apartment, silent cry of Yuchan's name leaving Sehyoon's lips repeatedly.

_Yuchan._

"Yoonie?" A small, sleepy, slightly confused voice asked and Sehyoon's head instantly snapped to where it had come from.

Yuchan stood on the doorway, in his favourite t-shirt of Sehyoon's, as he tried to rub sleep out of his eyes, looking like the most beautiful dear person in the world and painting Sehyoon’s grey world in the brightest and warmest of colors that could ever exist.

"Channie." Sehyoon whispered, unsure, afraid that he was an image conjured by his wishful thinking and Sehyoon’s fingers would melt through his skin if he were to touch the younger’s pink-dusted cheek. “Channie.” He repeated and the mere action of Yuchan’s name leaving his lips and stirring recognition inside the younger's eyes paved an easy way for Sehyoon’s tears.

"What happened, love? Are you okay?" Yuchan asked, concerned and comforting, as he tiptoed around the shatters of glass on the floor and gathered Sehyoon in his arms, cradling the crying man against his warm chest.

Sehyoon could feel Yuchan's heartbeat through the thin fabric of t-shirt. _Alive. Real. Here with him._

"A... Are you real, Channie?" He found himself asking, choking on his tears, almost terrified of the answer as he waited. Yuchan laughed and pressed his soft lips on top of Sehyoon's head.

"Yes, Yoonie, yes, I am real." Yuchan reassured and Sehyoon didn't doubt.

He wrapped his arms around Yuchan's smaller form and felt and heard life moving inside him.

 


End file.
